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Setting a lovely table is one of the most joyous things you can do for your family and guests. I love keeping my both my formal and casual dining table set year-round.
For one, it keeps the clutter off of them. But more importantly, it makes your home more orderly and lovely. Your dining room usually has some of THE loveliest things in your entire home.
Let’s show off your dining room by dressing her up! Many times it’s the first room your guests will see, so let’s make a great first impression!
Setting a Table is More About the Guests Than the Food
Setting a lovely table doesn’t have to be expensive. You can use china. You can use stoneware. You can use melamine.
Yes, the food should be great, but not fussy. It doesn’t need to be expensive either. People are more important than food or dishes. Making your guests feel loved is what they will remember most. See my 7 Tips Ina Garten Taught Me About Throwing Fabulous Dinner Party.
In my 7 Steps to a Lovely Home, I encourage women to only decorate with items they truly love. The same goes for selecting table setting pieces.
Setting a Proper Table is Easy
Now let’s go through the steps of setting a lovely table. It all starts with gathering, then layering your lovelies:
1. Use the good dishes.
Depending on your stage in life and your personal style, beautiful dishes are beautiful dishes, no matter if they are your wedding china, vintage finds, or plastic.
Collect the prettiest plates, bowls, cups and saucers you can find.
And then use them every day!
My all-time favorite dishes are a Dillard’s exclusive, the Manor Scalloped Bone China made by Gorham (owned by Lenox).
Yes, I do use china every day. As does my husband and my two teenage boys. My 72 year old mother only used her wedding china twice in her entire life.
Love your family enough to let them use the pretty dishes. Save the paper plates for parties. If one breaks, replace it. They are not that expensive. Remember, people are more important than plates.
I adore the Gorham Manor Scalloped pattern. It’s all things lovely – white and frilly, feminine and affordable. Perfect for layering and mixing with other patterns. Since it’s bone china, it’s super strong. But this collection is also light weight. Yet another reason to love it.
For families with young children, it’s perfectly smart to use plastic dishes as they are learning. Lenox carries some of the prettiest melamine dishes you can find and fun for both indoor and outdoor occasions.
2. Select flatware with some weight.
Next gather your flatware – silver or gold. I particularly love flatware with some weight to it.
Shop my favorite flatware Lenox French Perle Silverware. It has weight. It’s elegant.
It coordinates beautifully with Lenox’s French Perle White Collection. My daughter chose this pattern for her wedding dishes, and she loves it.
Our family also uses Lenox’s gorgeous French Perle Groove in Blue Ice.
3. Pretty glasses make everything taste better.
When you use pretty glasses you honor yourself and your family. Throw away all the mis-matched glasses and plastic cups from years gone by. Imagine opening your kitchen cabinets and seeing these lovelies:
4. Linens both formal and informal.
Next gather up all of your luxurious linens. Cloth napkins are a must for formal place settings. Then, depending on the occasion and your style, you’ll need placemats and a white tablecloth or table runner. I prefer a pretty tablecloth over a table runner.
5. Chargers add a luxurious foundation.
What is a “charger” you might ask? No, it’s not the football team in Los Angeles.
Chargers create a wonderful base for the layering of your place setting. They add an extra special outer rim for your dinner plate that makes it feel more substantial.
They don’t have to be expensive. I buy gold chargers from Hobby Lobby for $1.99 by the dozen. They look beautiful with white plates and are gorgeous with Christmas dishes.
Wayfair has a great selection of chargers online. I also love Pier One’s charger plates.
6. Layering, proper placement & place cards.
Stacking and layering the actual place setting can feel daunting. This little cheat sheet will help you remember what goes where.
Tip: layer a little, or a lot.
You don’t have to have everything in the photo above to have a lovely table. Casual place settings will not be as fussy as formal place settings. If you aren’t going to use it, skip it!
Get your older children to help. I believe in starting early when teaching children how to have a lovely home.
Follow this easy layering technique and even the Queen of England would be impressed with your table!
Follow this order. Skip what you won’t need:
- FOUNDATIONAL LINENS:
- Tablecloth or
- Runner, and/or
- Placemats if using
- STACK DISHES for each place setting:
- CENTER:
- Charger
- Dinner Plate
- Salad Plate
- Soup bowl
- TOP LEFT:
- Bread plate
- CENTER:
- SET ASIDE:
- Dessert dishes along with teacups and saucers can be set aside on the buffet, side table or kept in the kitchen until dessert is served.
- Bring these items out at the end of the meal after the other dishes are removed.
- Remember to keep the charger in place throughout the entire meal.
- NAPKIN OPTIONS:
- Fold and place to the left of the plate, or
- Fold and place under the salad plate, or (my favorite way),
- Place napkin in a napkin ring holder and place on top of the salad plate if you using a soup bowl.
- FLATWARE PLACEMENT:
- LEFT SIDE:
- Forks to the left starting with the dinner fork closest to the plate,
- Salad fork to the left of the dinner fork.
- Remember: “fork” has 4 letters so, forks go left since “left” as 4 letters.
- RIGHT SIDE:
- Knife and soup spoons to the right of the plate.
- The knife will go closest to the plate,
- Followed by the soup spoon.
- For casual place settings, you can add the dessert spoon to the right at well.
- Remember: “knife” & “spoon” have 5 letters, so they go right since “right” has 5 letters too.
- TOP CENTER:
- Add the dessert spoon/fork to the top of the plate for formal dinners.
- TOP LEFT:
- Place butter knife on bread plate if using.
- LEFT SIDE:
Etiquette Tip:
Use your flatware from the outside in as the meal progresses; soup and salad utensils first, then the knife for dinner fork for the main meal.
- GLASSES, STEMWARE, CUPS & SAUCERS:
- Water glasses are place in upper right with the water glass directly above the knife.
- Wine stemware or tea glasses to the right of the water as shown in the photo above.
- Coffee cups or tea cups and saucers should be placed at the top right above the knife and spoons, just under the stemware. Many times hot drinks are served only with dessert so you can wait on placing them on the table. This gives you the opportunity to ask each guest if they prefer coffee or tea and not overcrowd the table.
- PLACE CARDS:
- Add directly above the place setting or on top of the salad plate.
- Tent cards are easy because they stand on their own.
- Place card holders are fun too.
Place cards are super fun to add when having any dinner party. It makes each guest feel special. They’re also a way to seat people together that make for great conversation. Always, seat couples together, however.
Place cards can be elegant with fancy holders, or simple card stock folded in half to make a tent. I love using a gold or silver Sharpie marker or chalk marker to write out the names of each guest. If your handwriting is not the best, find a family member or friend who can help with this in advance.
Always have an extra place setting for that unexpected guest.
Pretty Place Card Favs:
- Gold Leaf Place Cards by Amazon
- Blush Pink Floral Place Cards by Amazon
- Gold Foil Place Cards by Amazon
- Kraft Laurel Leaf Place Cards by Amazon
- SALT & PEPPER:
- It’s fun for formal events to purchase mini salt & pepper shakers for each place setting so guests don’t have to share with the entire table.
- If using these, place at the top of the plate on each side of the place card as shown.
7. Centerpiece essentials – lovely flowers & unscented candles
Just when you think your table could not look any more fabulous, topping it off with flowers and candles is the pièce de résistance.
You can use real flowers or faux. Choose one beautiful centerpiece (not too tall so your guests can see one another). Or you can have a few smaller bouquets down the center of the table.
Add ambiance to the room by dimming the lights and adding candlelight. I love mixing gorgeous votives with unscented candles among the flowers for a stunning presentation.
People Are More Important Than Dishes or Food
As I said from the beginning, people are certainly more important than pretty dishes. And more important than the perfect meal.
It’s very helpful to have extra help with serving and removing dishes between courses. With every meal, make your family and friends feel loved and special. That’s the entire point of setting a pretty table.
Etiquette training is essential for children. In addition to setting a table, teach them how to have a polite conversation. Remind them to talk about positive and lovely things when dining, nothing that will upset the stomach or the dinner guests. Remind them there are to be no phones at the table!
The Main Point:
Setting a lovely table is not about impressing people.
It’s about honoring them.
Bon appétit!
Let’s Review!
- Use the good dishes. They make the food taste better, but even more importantly, family and guests feel special.
- Select flatware with some weight. It’s worth the splurge. Trust me.
- Pretty glasses make everything taste better. And they are better for toasting.
- Linens both formal and informal. Soften things up with pretty fabrics.
- Chargers add a luxurious foundation. A beautiful base for your dish stacking.
- Layering, proper placement & place cards. Table setting 101.
- Centerpiece essentials – lovely flowers & unscented candles. Engage the senses and add ambiance.
May your home be filled with all things beautiful and lovely, especially the people you love most.
I’m here for YOU!
Much love & joy,
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7 Tips Ina Garten Taught Me About Throwing a Fabulous Dinner Party